Written by Steven D’Adamo
Greetings fellow survivors. Hopefully there are still enough of you left to get this article some decent hits. I kid, I kid… but seriously, the digital cash is somehow still flowing into my PayPal account from my pay-per-click ads… so thanks for that.
I promised that I would be back with some helpful hints to zombie-proof your home and survive the zombie apocalypse, and I’m here to deliver.
I’ve decided to help you out by letting you in on how the Seva Call Team has managed to keep Fort Seva Call up and running, starting with those all-important passages to the outside world: doors.
Now, we totally know that not everyone lives in a castle. And if you do, you probably don’t need to read this. So for those of us who actually live in the 21st century, post-apocalyptic wasteland: pay attention!
In general, you’ll want to protect your doors, while still being able to escape if your house is being overrun.
1. If your garage is directly attached to the house, make sure to reinforce the doors with plywood, or perhaps that absurdly heavy liquor cabinet you never used to store your one bottle of bottom-tier vodka.
2. You’ll want to have one door for primary entrance and exit. Make sure that you choose the heaviest, strongest door in your house for this. And then…you guessed it: reinforce it. But keep the peep-hole intact!
3. You’ll also want an alternative escape route. Perhaps an upper-level window near a tree, or a ridiculously-planned route from the attic, over the roof, and through the backyard would work best for this. The key is, everyone in the house must know this route, and it must be well-hidden and protected from randomly curious zombies.
Here at Fort Seva Call, we have a seldom-used garage filled with junk to act as an alternative escape. The garage can only be opened from the inside, and the scattered, dusty furniture acts as a pack-rat’s obstacle course for the zombies who will likely chase us through there at some point.
We also happen to have a surplus of oversized desks that have been recycled into barricades. Only a start-up home office could be so fortunate.
Hope this helps you zombie-proof your homes. I’ll return with further updates. Steve out.
