Written by Dallea Caldwell
Friendships are tested by the strains of adulthood. Life choices have set you onto divergent paths. It can be so hard to show that you’re 100% behind your friends when you’re all back-to-back and heading in opposite directions in life. Here are 5 ways to stay connected, strengthen your friendship, and make the precious few moments you have with friends truly memorable and impactful.
1. Make a flashy show of support: Attending your friend’s birthday bash/going-away party/baby shower/new job? Make your presence memorable by doing a little something extra in their honor: a screen-printed tee with an inside joke, nail polish in their favorite color, a gaudy gag gift or accessory (crown, feather boa, hat) that kicks their celebration up a notch. The more memorable your time together, the more often you’ll be together in spirit even if you can’t make the next big life event.
2. Start a tradition: Traditions add meaning and tie years and decades together into a single experience. Perhaps your schedules won’t allow a strict annual occurrence, but in a certain time of year have a thing that you do that brings you together: fishing/beach trip/happy hour/gift exchange; anything that creates shared meaning and experiences will do.
3. Write a letter (by hand): If you can’t be there to support your friend at an important time in life, then you have to rely on the next best, most personal thing in your arsenal. Give them a quick call if you can; but, sit down and write a letter and pour your heart out on paper. No time to mail? Scan it from the office.
*Another highly personal option is a video message. But, don’t sweat the details, as getting a good shot may take up a lot time. It’s the sentiments that count.
4. Stop by (for a little bit): If you’re 20 minutes away from an event and can spare only an hour, show up, if only for a few minutes. Seeing you go out of your way strictly to support a valued friend, even though you can’t indulge in any of the festivities, shows how much you care. It also gives you a break from the pressures you’ve been obsessing over by shifting the focus to someone else.
*If you’re concerned that you’ll get comfortable and lose track of time, this should help: leaving makes a stronger impression, because it makes the time you gave even more valuable. Otherwise, it seems you’re just exaggerate your schedule and you hadn’t gone to all that much trouble after all. So, give everyone a heads up that you’re just stopping through to show support/give a big hug, only accept the smallest to-go snack if any, and go about your way after taking a few moments to celebrate with a friend.
5. Create an email or social media group: If you have a close-knit crew and all are pretty active in one platform or another, then stay connected with a private Facebook group, Google+ hangout, or email list. But, take note of who hasn’t responded in a while. Individuals can get lost in the smallest and most well-intentioned crowds, especially when they themselves are overwhelmed or having a rough time.
Good friends are hard to find, so do whatever you can to nurture the ones you have. The highs and lows of life are enriched with those special people seeing you through it all.
