Written by Dallea Caldwell
The iOS 7 became available today and, by some estimations, has made notable changes to some of its parts. So, be warned: if you’re male and have yet to download the upgrade, you should know that its use requires you to be secure in your manhood. In fact, you may want to password protect an encrypted zipfile of your manhood if you want to use this thing.
The new software is “an estrogen-addled mess designed for 13 year old girls”, Jim Lynch proclaimed. Although the tech blogger has all the modern political correctness of a pre-Civil War abolitionist, he does have a point. The pastel laden app icons are, in fact, somewhat reminiscent of Barbie’s Dream House. And, he’s not the only analyst wondering whether Apple is intentionally appealing to women with what testosterone-based egos fear most: a softer-looking handheld device.
Check out the iPhone 5s and iOS7 color scheme for yourself.
Could this transformation win RuPaul’s Drag Race?
And if more circumstantial, speculative evidence is what you crave:
– Apple introduced the iPhone 5s’ “slow-motion” video function with this 15-second viewing of a fashion show: Burberry’s Spring/Summer 2014 fashion line as shared through the label’s Instagram feed.
– The lower-priced iPhone comes in five candy-colors, nothing like “burgundy, navy blue, or Lincoln blue” a.k.a masculine colors, according to Business Insider Jim Edwards.
And, even if you ignore generations of conditioning associating fashion and pastel colors with feminine gender roles, you can’t ignore the power of the female market.
– Surveys say iPhone is beating Android in the mom market.
– Women, increasingly single moms, aren’t typically earning an above average $75,000 salary like the traditional iPhone consumer, which adds meaning to Apple’s choice to offer the lower-priced new version.
– Surveys also say that 10% more men than women want Android as their next device.
Apple may very well be responding to the market in ways that only happen to fly in the face of patriarchy.
Or… is it something more insidious?
“Jim Lynch pretty much had it,” admitted some guy loitering in front of an iPhone store who I took to be an insider because he was wearing a suit.
“But we’re actually targeting 14 year old girls,” he explained, laying out the whole concept:
The idea is to get moms to buy the iPhone 5s just by lowering the price. It’s only their teenage daughters who give a hoot about the color scheme and will actually be so mesmerized by the girly, flirty pastels that they’ll sneak off and use it to text their boyfriends constantly. By 2016 there will be so many unwed teen moms that they’ll make Obama president for life.
I knew it! There you have it, folks!
