Written by Dallea Caldwell
How we respond to telemarketers largely depends on our mood when the phone rings. Sometimes, we take the calls and politely listen for the earliest opportunity to say, “No, but thank you and goodbye”. Other times, abruptly abandoning all propriety, we either let the dial tone do the talking or, more often than we’d care to admit, let loose a day’s worth of frustration and pent-up aggression.
Interestingly, because The Do-Not-Call Implementation Act exempts solicited calls; marketers are free to strain the definition of consent. All kinds of consumer behavior legally justifies companies in their repeated, unwanted calls to your residence or cellular devices. Worse, many of our protests leave businesses undeterred as even they can be interpreted as further solicitation. Just take a look at a few of the most commonly twisted consumer replies that lead to follow-up calls.
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Reply: “I’m not interested at this time.”
Translation: “I’m going to be interested any day now, so I look forward to hearing from you again and again until I finally relent!”
Reality: Although polite company would easily read your intent- which is to let them down easy, unless marketers take you on your word, they risk your business going elsewhere. If you’re serious, try scheduling a call-back to avoid their pointless attempts in the mean time.
Reply: “[Dial tone]”
Translation: “Oops! I’m clearly busy and rude. Try back when I’m bored and bursting with desire for that product I inquired about.”
Reality: Although telemarketers are universally despised, they are neither subhuman (exempt from common courtesy) nor superhuman (endowed with mind-reading abilities). Plus, not only might they reschedule such a call, they might retry sooner. Think about it. Unless you spoke, how can you be sure that they noticed you picking up in the first place? And, since they didn’t get a chance to fully introduce themselves or the nature of their call, why should they assume your disinterest when your documented expressed interest provided them the ability to call you in the first place? So, as our mothers used to say: use your words.
Response: “[Expletive]! [Loud, incomprehensible jibber jabber] and [personal attack jibber jabber], you [offensively improper noun]!”
Translation: “I’m so, so sorry! Maybe I just had a bad day. There’s obviously a huge, gaping void in my life. So, please call again because I submitted that consumer inquiry in the hopes that the product in question will change my life as advertised. Plus, taking out my pent-up aggression on you is highly therapeutic!”
Reality: Of course anyone on the receiving end of a verbal beating wouldn’t want a repeat for themselves or their colleagues, but it’s not always up to them. Supervisors may blame the caller for your aggression and may even call in an attempt to fix the apparent customer service mishap.
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Ultimately, the one response that’s sure to stop the phone from constantly ringing off the hook must include your number, the words “Do not call”, or any explicit variant thereof. To soften the blow and retain your self-respect, be polite about it and add “please” and “thank you”. Furthermore, if the call happens to be unsolicited, get your number added to the Do-Not-Call-Registry or report a violation.
Remember: every time you contact a business, you risk a months-long cat and mouse game of lead follow-up. Want to inquire about a local service need without getting calls and emails from local businesses for months on end? Visit www.talklocal.com, submit your inquiry, and speak to a local professional through a secure line. Under no circumstances does TalkLocal share your contact information – that’s always up to you.
