Written by Dallea Caldwell
(BRWeb) In response to growing demand for a simple way to find and connect with the “right” romantic life-partner to fulfill everyday cuddling needs, Seva Call proudly presents our new Match-Making service category!
Avoid the Hassle Of Meeting Real People!
Local singles typically spend years browsing dating profiles and texting different people before finally settling down into a serious relationship. With Seva Call, you need only enter your location, unfulfilled romantic longings, and the time when you are loneliest and most desperately needing companionship. In minutes, Seva Call’s algorithm instantly connects you to three, local, eligible bachelors or bachelorettes. Our system will only match you with singles who know your deepest fantasies and most irritating quirks, and are ready to settle with you — so long as you don’t snore too loudly.
“I was tired of the bar scene, then I had a Vodka and Redbull. After I got my second wind, I used Seva Call, which instantly connected me to somebody, anybody who would have me!”
– Margaret Doe of New York, NY
How Does It Work?!
Seva Call filters area singles and selects the “right” match for you based on percentage of body shown in Facebook pictures, credit score, the number of times his or her car tires have been slashed by a bitter ex, and other quality assurance indicators. We then provide you with their phone number, home and work address, and social security number before proceeding to call them incessantly until they return our call… which we then route back to you.
Plus, if your romantic encounter goes poorly, Seva Call instantly canvasses your metro area advertising the heartbreaker’s name and number as a guaranteed means to a “good time”.
Further Match-Making Help
Seva Call raised $1.3 million in alimony yesterday and has launched in 28 major cities, including Washington, D.C., Philadelphia, Boston, and New York; We currently have plans to release an iPhone and Android app, and admit this to be an April Fool’s joke in the near future — if you haven’t figured it out already.
